I’d like to prefix this by stating, my husband and I have a good marriage
we have a monthly date night, when we get a sitter and go do something without the kid
we eat dinner as a family every night, talk about our day, cuddle and watch tv together, etc..
and as far as sex goes, we both would like to find time more often but with our busy lives, a few times a week gets us by just fine until life calms down alittle-
the only real problem is a lack of romance
I know its silly, but after everything we’ve been through, I look back and I can’t remember a single romantic moment in our whole relationship:
we were a one-night stand that turned into friendship and the next thing you know we’re talking about getting married, 3 weeks later in a court-house I said “I do” in a sun dress, married a month when we found out we were pregnant- now our son is nearly a year old and I’m happy and my husband is happy,
but at the same time it’d be nice to have a nice big romantic to-do, for once
I mean, I didn’t even get a real wedding or a honeymoon, don’t even have a cute “first date” story
so I guess what I’d really like is just if I could feel worth the work of wining and dining or if I could kinda relive my wedding night the way I had hoped it would be instead of how it was (too tired for sex after 12 hour work shift)
I talk to my husband about all this and it just makes him feel bad-
he says he feels like he robbed me of all these experiences and I try to explain to him that I love our life, I have no regrets
I know its silly but I just can’t stop thinking about a moment I wish we could have-
one of those dancing by candle-light kind of moments, or something like that
rose petals on the bed or whatever-
I can tell that my husband tries- he’s a great man and a great father and a wonderful husband:
he helps with housework, holds my hand in public, tells me he loves me every day when he kisses me goodbye before work or goodnight before bed-
even when we fight, we always work it out and feel stronger for having gone through it-
so I try to help him out- I try to set up that romantic moment for us-
but it never seems to work out
either he’s too tired or we get our signals crossed over sex vs. cuddling or something like that
my question is this:
for anyone with more seasoned marriage-
am I as silly as I feel I am for wanting something as trivial as romance when every other part of our marriage is so great?
and
is there any hope to have that romantic moment? neither of us really seems to be good at setting up a ‘candles and rose petals’ scenerio so at this point I’m just trying to get myself to give up on it
I should explain-
our monthly date night is our big attempt at romance-
but it usually ends up being a game of mini-golf or a dinner out or movie—
we start off in a good mood, but somehow we always run out of things to do on our dates, spend the last hour debating picking our son up early from the sitter’s house—
date nights are never romantic because, well, because we aren’t very good a planning romantic—
and the few times we get it right, something happens to ruin the mood, if that makes sense—
basically we try, it just never works out